They say it takes a village to raise a child – but more than one in 10 modern parents have no one to support them.
Pregnacare and One Poll ran a study of 1,000 mums and dads of children aged 10 and under. The study found 71 per cent admitted they would have been lost without the help of others, having an average of three people on speed dial.
From finding out what parents villages look like, to reasons as to why people have small or no village, this article shares light on parents’ most important roles to have in a village, and advice on how to build your own.
But busy work schedules (42 per cent), living too far from relatives (41 per cent) and not wanting to burden others (37 per cent) have been blamed for it being harder to build a village around you as a parent today.
Along with friends being at different life stages (32 per cent), a lack of local community (25 per cent) and smaller family networks (24 per cent).
Research with 1,000 mums and dads found that most parents rely on help from others, whether that comes from family, friends, experienced parents, or online communities. We highlight the importance of having a strong support network when raising children and how even a small “village” can make a meaningful difference for parents.
The key message is that support helps parents feel less alone, reduces stress and anxiety, and gives them greater confidence in their parenting decisions. Many parents said the most valuable people in their village are those who have been through similar experiences, alongside emotional support and practical help during busy or challenging moments.
The research also reflects the realities of modern life, where work commitments, distance from relatives, and smaller family networks can make support harder to find. As a result, many parents are now building connections online through parenting groups and chats, showing that a village can exist both in person and virtually.
Our experts offer a reassuring and positive reminder that parenting is easier when support is shared, and that building a trusted circle around you can make the experience more manageable and enjoyable.
Antenatal teacher and birth and postnatal doula, Sarah Ockwell-Smith shares some tips on how to build your village:
Don’t wait to be offered help, ask for it.
Sometimes people would love to help out but don’t want to overstep the line because they worry you will feel that they are interfering and meddling. Asking family or friends to do something specific for you is much more likely to result in the help that you need.
Find your tribe online.
The internet can be an amazing way to meet other parent friends, especially if you live in an area where it’s tricky for you to meet people in real life. Try to find groups for areas that interest you, or that you identify with in your parenting, to find soulmates (for instance natural parenting groups, international and multi-lingual families, single parent families etc.).
Don’t compare yourself to people on the internet.
Meeting other parents online is a brilliant way to build a village, but it can be tough sometimes too, especially if you feel like everybody else is much more together and a better parent than you. Remember online isn’t real-life, it’s a carefully curated image. In reality these parents who seem to be perfect are also dealing with sleepless nights, messy homes, toddler tantrums, and feelings of inadequacy, however perfect they may appear to be.